Bibian and SinghsWaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,
Daas has seen that Kaljug is very powerful and tries to entice us with maya in many forms including through Bibian. Daas has seen many people fall into this trap. Recently daas has cut off talking to bibian when possible because they were not acting as Singhni’s should and daas does not want to fall into the traps of maya set for him by Kaljug. Daas does not want to fall into the traps of kaljug as many people before me have. So daas thinks its better to be safe than sorry. We must be aware of and avoid the traps off kaljug. Kaljug is very powerful and it only takes a second to slip up and to lose all the kamayee we have done. It is better that we protect our jeevans and the kamayee we have done and make sure we preserve the honor of our great Guru’s and Khalsa Panth. Guru Sahib sometimes tests us to see how committed we are to them. When we pass these tests we are able to progress in our jeevans, but if we stumble with these tests we make it harder on ourselves. Daas believes it is better to stay away from Bibian and maya. This stuff is just taking us away from what we are here to do in this life.
By now a bunch of people must be up in arms and calling for my head because I have written that we should keep a cautious separation between Bibian and Singhs, especially in the age where they are most susceptible to fall and do something they will regret later on. If you do not agree with this, that is your own prerogative, but please read on with an open mind.
Tria Chritar was written for a reason, even though people doubt it. I believe tria chritrar is an amazing piece of work because it shows the ways of women, and how they can try to seduce men to get their way. Daas has seen and heard of many situations where a Bibi comes after a Singh, the Singh refuses, but than Bibi tries to seduce Singh so that Singh will fall in their spell and Bibi will get the Singh. Tria Chritar warns us of these situations and prepares us to deal with them more effectively when they come up, because we already know the methods of women. This is a very dangerous situation even if we have read Tria Chritar because kaam is very powerful, and even great Sikhs have fallen victim to Kaam.
Many youth these days play it off as we are all brothers and sisters, but the same people when you see them at raansabayees they wont go out of their way to say Fateh to their brothers, but will be looking for excuses and chances to say Fateh to their ‘sisters’. Some of these people even end up marrying their ‘sisters’. The false use of the words ‘brother’ and ‘sister’ when you don’t really mean it very misleading and people must be aware of the dangers of this. Those gurmukhs are rare who can control their mind in this play of maya and really see their brothers and sisters as just that. Many people just abuse this word and don’t really mean it.
Singhs use to be trusted with the prettiest women, use to save women from the clutches of the Moghuls. Singhs were known as the most honest and trustworthy people. There are still many Singhs like this, but it saddens me to hear of how many Singhs go astray and are not living up to the ideals of their ancestors. We are losing our way, we are reducing the amount of bhagti we do and becoming more susceptible to the plays of maya. The path of Sikhi is very thin, like the sharpest part of a sword. We must leave our own mat and follow Guru’s mat.
Look around us at how many Singhs and Bibian are slipping, how many have lost their way by falling prey to Kaam. We have given our head, our lives to Guru Sahib, we must also act like it. It is very sad to see so many people slipping up. It’s hard to stay on this path, we must take precautions to make sure we don’t fall victim to Kaljug.
At raansaabayees these days, Singh’s and Singhni’s sit in sangat and ‘check’ each other out. Impure thoughts come into their minds. Not all people are like this, but we can not deny that it does exist. Some youth also use youth events as an excuse for genders to mix for impure intentions.
Singhs and Singhni’s add each other to MSN to ‘talk about Sikhi’, or to ‘help each other out’. Many of these cases end up with one or even both of the parties having feelings for each other, and instead of helping each others Sikhi, they just hold each other back on this path of love. Yes this is a path of love ‘prema bhagti’, but we must be clear, our love is LOVE FOR GURU SAHIB, LOVE FOR GOD. But youth end up following in love with each other instead.
I am not anti Bibian or anti Singhs, I am just pro Gur-Mat and anti Man-Mat. People will object to this post, but please put your own personal beliefs and bias’s aside and look at this objectively, look at the actions of past mahapursh’s, look at those who achieved brahmgyaan and how they did it.
Like I said in a previous post, it is up to us if we want to get to sachkhand by crossing that ocean. It is up to us to cross that ocean, float in that ocean, or drown in that ocean. Kaljug is very powerful, has done lots of bhagti, can over power us if we aren’t careful. Don’t get to high on yourself that you can stay protected, many great gursikhs have fallen. Beware.
Most people get married in their 20’s those years before marriage are the most dangerous, just hold on tight to Guru sahib and don’t let go. Don’t let your mind wander. So many have drown at this age and regret it for ever, don’t be one of them.
It is better to follow advice of Gurmukhs, they are very wise and teach us properly. To much mixing of genders is against our Sikh culture. We need to look no further than to Bhrahmgyani’s Sant Baba Nand Singh Ji and Sant Harnaam Singh and their take on Bibian and Singh’s interaction. When Sant Harnaam Singh would see ‘maya’ aka women they would look down at the ground instead of looking at the women. They said the key to controlling your mind is by controlling your eyes.
(Not cast eyes on another female's beauty and remain in
Guru Ji's service through the Saadh Sangat).
Now we can look at Sant Baba Nand Singh Ji’s take on it;
At the Holy Place of Baba Nand Singh Ji Maharaj, woman was not permitted inside nor she could stay there. She could only come to attend congregations along with her husband or other elderly male member of her family and immediately leave hereafter. Thus His Holy Place was totally free from the presence of Kamini and Kanchan. Babaji never talked to any woman alone.
Where we will get married is already decided by Waheguru. Who we are seperated from is also decided by Waheguru. We do not need to take this stress on our heads and feel that we must find who we will marry. This is manmat. "Sanjog Vijog, doye Kar Chalaave". Who we meet and seperated from is all in the will of god.
Daas would like to make clear once again that I am not in any way against Bibian. If it has come across that way I apologize. I have just been deeply saddened with the amount of people slipping up which is both the fault of Singhs and Kaurs. But we must be aware of the advice of Mahapursh’s, and the lessons given in Tria Chritar, this is my only intent. Once again I hope no one will take offence to this post, if anyone has a different view, perhaps we can have a healthy discussion in the comment section.
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh